Now that fledgling patchwork network "The CW" has mercifully put rapper-turned-actress Eves self-titled "sitcom" out of its misery, shes beginning her trek to big screen stardom by starring alongside Mekhi Phifer and Vincent Laresca in Antonio Macias indie drama EGO. In it, Laresca plays a cop who finds harassing the recently paroled ex-con (Phifer) who killed his father temporarily eases the pain of his loss. Rather than celebrating with contortionist hookers and high quality X when the ex-con dies, however, the cop finds himself haunted by his death even fifteen years later. At this point, his otherwise spotless reputation is on the verge of being tarnished and he begins to question his partners intergrity. Basically, a flaming pile of poo has made a lightning fast beeline for a nearby fan.

We presume Eve will be playing a love interest of either the cop or the ex-con. Either way, if she wants to survive in the film world, we hope she takes the lessons learned on her show and promptly flushes them down the toilet because theyll only serve as a giant, hairy, pulsating albatross against her success.